Formation of masculine identity in the context of the asymmetrical structure of organization of parenting

According to Nancy Chodorow, boys-specific problems arise because of the asymmetrical structure of parenting. Manifestation of this structure is actively researched concept of the "absent father" which is used to describe not only incomplete families, but those where the self-actualization seeking male is poorly involved in relationship with his children. Researchers conclude that lack of contact between the man and the boy results in identity formation and some relationship establishing difficulties. In the philosophical literature "absent father" is formulated as a manifestation of well-known from the beginning of western culture dualism. Meanwhile, in corresponding contemporary sources position of the phenomenon of "absent father" itself is not found. The development of this problem has been started by N. Chodorow, although features of psychoanalytical discourse and perspective of her work "The Reproduction of Mothering" in general made it impossible to use the researcher's conclusions in a philosophical discussion. That justifies scientific novelty of the approach which is suggested in the present paper: consideration of statistically recorded problems of boys and males in the context of "absent fatherhood vs. pseudo-mothering" opposition. It can be described as lack of parenting vs. overparenting and both alternatives are persistent social norms and considered as such. Becoming of the boy, the formation of his masculinity in such context seems slightly different. Execution of ban on showing "emotions of weakness", some recorded difficulties of boys and males in resolution of conflicts in a peaceful way may be understood not only as an effect of the influence of boys subculture but as a result of the identity formation process. More precisely, not having an access to the father's role model, boy turns to the mother's to invert it. As such role model, pseudo-mothering appears - the social norm of nearly maternal care of woman about persons other than her own children. Pseudo-mothering implies empathy, cooperation, emotional warmness. A boy inverts those attitudes (because of the absence of positive primary model of manliness he is forced to define masculine as opposite to feminine) and implements contradictory attitudes. Thus, "absent fatherhood vs. pseudo-mothering" is binary opposition and problems of boys and males are provoked not by itself, but as a part of gender attitude of parenting as a whole.

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